And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
