The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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