so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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