going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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