It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
