I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
