Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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