It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
