check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
