I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.