HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
