He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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