I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
