went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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