just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
