I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
