I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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