Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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