I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
