the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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