man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize