I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
