evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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