Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
