His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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