oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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