i need an iv and a liver transplant
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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