i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
