STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
