i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
