I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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