it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
