The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
