so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
