she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
