sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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