And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
