What a fucking waste of an outfit
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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