I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize