I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
