She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
