I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
