Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You ruined the universe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize