I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
