Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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