we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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