I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
