I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
