I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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