Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize