the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
