Are we in a gay sports bar?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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