In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
