I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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