As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
