Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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