dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
