There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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