Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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