I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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