WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
