we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Randomize
