is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it hurts more in the daytime
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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