Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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