As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
