I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
