i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize